


The Team Fights!

by ShinyMechAngel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 16:07:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10700439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinyMechAngel/pseuds/ShinyMechAngel
Summary: After reading "Who's Who of Our Team", I really wanted to rework an episode of OHSHC with the Avengers. Thanks, opaline_pixie, for the permission to expand on your awesome idea.All characters belong to who they belong to (so, not me).





	The Team Fights!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Who's who of our team](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9787166) by [Opaline_pixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opaline_pixie/pseuds/Opaline_pixie). 
  * Inspired by [Who's who of our team](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9787166) by [Opaline_pixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opaline_pixie/pseuds/Opaline_pixie). 



Tony stormed into the rec room where Steve and Bucky were pestering Wanda for her paprikash recipe. “You two. When I gave you access to my servers, it was under the condition that you take things seriously and not screw around.”  
Bucky turned to him, feigning insult. “We're being very serious about it, Tony.”  
“Yeah. We were using it to gather intel all night last night,” Steve added.  
“The servers are for Avenger business, NOT perusing the greatest hits of the 70s. Use Banner's lab for that.” He turned to look at Bruce, sitting in the corner hunched over a physics book. “That's okay, right, big guy?”  
Barely looking up from his work, Bruce grunted a response and went back to his reading.  
“See, good. No more looking for music on my servers.”  
“If you don't want us looking for it, why is it there in the first place?”  
Bucky looked at Tony and smirked. “Steve, maybe tonight we can watch those videos we found.”  
“Those would be private, so no.” Tony stared at the two of them and sighed. “Fine, disco fever it is. I'm getting back to work. Maybe leave Wanda alone for a while?”

As soon as he left, they turned to her to continue their conversation. “So, Wanda. Which one of us is it?”  
“Of the two of you, he is the bigger troublemaker,” she replied, motioning to Bucky.  
Steve doubled over with laughter. “Sorry, Buck.”  
“I don't see what's so funny about it. I don't hold anything back, unlike some people... Steve.”  
“Don't you turn this on me. I'm the one who's always going along with your stupid pranks.”  
“That's rich. You're the one who really gets into them. If you hate it, just stop going along with it.”  
“I'd hate to see you make an ass of yourself, Buck.”

Wanda decided it would probably be best to stay clear of the crossfire, and made a beeline for Tony, who had just come back with Pepper. The three of them made small talk until Steve and Bucky's corner of the room exploded in angry shouting.

“You're the one who's always coming into my room at night. How annoying can you be?”  
“I only do that because you've been alone for so long. I don't really want to share a bed with you.”  
“Well, leave me alone, you patriotic popsicle!”  
Their argument reached a deafening conclusion with a unified, “That's it, we're over!” Wanda and Tony stared at each other in stunned silence as the long time friends stormed off in opposite directions.

 

The next day, as Wanda was sitting out on the deck, Steve and Bucky came out through separate doors. Both addressed her in turn with a friendly smile, before sitting on opposite sides of her.  
Bucky was the first to break the silence. “It was so nice to finally be able to sleep alone last night, but I had this horrible dream. I was suiting up for a mission and all of my gear had become this star-spangled nightmare.”  
The two ex-friends glared at each other before picking up their chairs. Wanda made her escape, refusing to look back to the source of shouting and splintering wood as she headed to her room.

In the dining hall around lunch time, everyone's meal became increasingly uncomfortable as Steve and Bucky placed angry orders in perfect unison, concluding with “Stop copying me!”  
Wanda looked toward them and said, mostly to herself, “Completely in sync, even when fighting. Impressive.”  
Tony got up and walked over to them. “I can't believe you're still going at each other like this. You're becoming a disgrace to the team.”  
“Yeah, it's enough already. I want you two to quit fighting and go halvsies on this pizza. Well, thirdsies; I'm not giving up my slices. And I get the pepperoni.”  
Bruce grabbed Clint by the wrist and dragged him away, still holding the pizza. “I'm not sure you're helping.”  
Natasha, appearing out of nowhere as usual, walked by and grabbed the pie out of Clint's hands. “I have no idea what's going on here. Honestly, when do I ever? But I'm taking this.” She crossed the dining hall and sat in the far corner, away from the commotion. Clint was in pursuit, demanding she relinquish his lunch.

Bucky pulled out the seat next to Wanda. “What are you eating? Mind sharing; I got stuck with food I don't really like.”  
“I'm not sure why you couldn't just get what you actually wanted, but if you'd like, I'll share with you.”  
As they started their meals, Steve pulled out the chair to Wanda's other side. “Any of that worth trying? I doubt it. Here, have some of this.” He twirled some pasta around his fork and held it out to her, only to have Bucky's mouth close around it instead.  
“Would you butt out?”  
Steve picked up his plate and hurled it toward Bucky, who stopped it with quick reflexes... and Tony's face. What followed was a food fight that would rival a middle school cafeteria. Food, dishes, furniture, and a few fellow Avengers soared through the air until every surface was coated in the remains of someone's lunch.

 

A week, three windows and two doors later, everyone decided it was maybe time to step in and do something. They walked into the rec room, where they discovered anything that wasn't nailed down was now in a pile between Steve and Bucky. Clint perched at the top of the pile, and looked to the group by the door. “Thanks for joining us, guys. A little help?”  
Tony stepped up and stared them down, “Don't you think it's time to stop this? It's driving us all crazy.”  
Bucky turned on Tony. “Driving you crazy? How do you think I feel?! I'm sick and tired of being watched all the time. Being babied by Uncle Sam's granddad. I can't stand it.” He turned back to Steve. “I hate all of this. And I hate you!”  
“I couldn't have said it better myself. I think it's time we put an end to this.” Steve grabbed his shield and poised for the throw.  
“Enough!” Wanda froze them in place, then ran up and slapped them both upside the head. “What do you think you're doing? You're going to kill each other over something so stupid? And you're bringing everyone else down with you. Apologize, now. If you don't, I refuse to teach you how to cook. You'll be boiling every meal for the rest of your lives.”  
Bucky and Steve looked at her in shock at first, until twin smirks broke across their faces. “So, if we make up, you'll finally give us your recipes?” They walked past her and threw their arms over each others' shoulders behind her.   
Wanda stared in shock as the two embraced. “I'm sorry, Steve. I know we planned this all out, but it hurt to say all of those things about you.”  
“It's okay, Buck. I couldn't live with myself if I'd actually hurt you. Maybe we should leave out the chair throwing next time.”  
The group looked on in awe of their performance, as Nat did a quick calculation of damages for Pepper. Clint hopped down from the pile of what used to be furniture, “You two were faking this entire time. You little shits.” His voice fell to a whisper, “I knew I shouldn't have introduced you to that show. Next time let me in on it, I could use an excuse to cut loose.”  
“Barton!”  
“I keep forgetting how good her hearing is.”  
Bruce walked over from his place in the corner, where he had retreated to avoid hulking out and adding to the debris. “Why?”  
“We didn't have anything better to do. We were bored.”


End file.
